Second Chance Ministries
 brings you

Chaplain Al's
Sermon Tips


    Who needs them? Who wrote them? Who will listen? Who cares?
The Minister who cares and wants to improve himself and keep his congregation growing...Also the Minister who believes in
2 Tim 2:15
15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
I (Chaplain Al) wrote them from the last 27 years of my ministry. The person who listens will benefit, the person who puts it into practice will improve and the person who improves will have a congregation seeking a deeper relationship with God through Jesus Christ his son. Isn't this what God called you into the ministry for....?
I care that the man behind the podium speaks correctly and intelligently directly to the congreagation bringing the word of God to the believer and non-believer in a manner that would please the Creator of the Universe.

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Things to avoid.........while speaking to your Congregation...

1. Using ("ah") the word (folks) the two most repeated words in speaking history (you know) and (you know) and (you know) don't say that..... because I don't know, I am here to be taught...
2. Keep your stories and jokes short , if you have to tell one...... you are not on stage to bring laughter to an audience. The preaching of God's word is serious business not monkey buisness.
3. Speak directly to your congregation, not to your wife, girlfriend, or pulpit
committee. Use eye contact from left to center, center to right, right to center again and repeat.
4. Slow down, you are not in a race to see how much you can say in a certain amount of time.....It seams the younger you are the faster you speak... remember that you want the congregation to understand not try to keep up.....
5. When is the last time you really listened to one of your sermons?.....this has to be a should listen as often as once every two weeks...this way you will know if you are picking up any bad speaking habits....
6. Are you using the old sermons from the other churches you served?? why?? this rule should be in effect. one old, four new, one old, four new....
7. Use your head when preaching not your is what I mean...suppose you have a small congregation.....and you know that 99% know the Lord Jesus Christ as Savior. Why do you keep preaching the same type of invitation over and over again......God wants you to feed his sheep not bore them to death.....Give them some meat......Bring the word of God into todays events that deal with the working and living habits of your congregation through the life of Jesus Christ. Let the Holy Spirit have His way with your congregation by keeping yourself and your habits out of the way. 8. When is the last time you had your-self video-taped? do it....Its not just good enough to have your wife tell you how you look and sound. If you want to improve yourself and have God pleased with your ministry tape yourself in video.......
You now have 8 ways to improve yourself and your congregations walk with God.

Over 54 Bonus tip's are listed
to improve your ministry

Week of September 23RD, through September 30TH, 1998
"Let me ask you a obvious question?" NO!! and who is it obvious to? If its obvious why would we have too ask a question????? JUST ASK THE QUESTION PREACHER!!!!!

Week of September 16th, through September 22ND, 1998
"Can't say enough about that"What kind of mumbo jumbo is that????
If you can't say something about something but, you still want too, you have a problem!!!! Try this, "let me elaborate on the subject of.....

Week of September 9th, through September 15th, 1998
"right off hand"Help!! Did something fall from your hand or did you use a cute meaningless confusing metaphor. Why not try "at this moment" and keep your hand on the word of God.......

Week of September 2nd, through September 8th, 1998
"you will bang out your life"PLEASE tell me preacher what does that mean???? Jesus came so I might have life, abundant life, eternal life, nothing about banging life.....I ask once more, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?????.......Clarify don't cloudify.

Week of August 25th, through September 1st, 1998
"This is a true story"What else would I expect from you preacher??
Fiction in church????? We have enough fiction in the White house don't let it enter the church!!!!

Week of August 19th, through August 25th, 1998
"To a certain extent"O'BOY! Just what does that mean? A fixed distance? A definite what brother WHAT?? A certain degree of extenting your brain power is needed in your approach to preaching the Word of God.....Drop that expression!!!!!

Week of August 12th, through August 18th, 1998
"You are dead wrong!"WOE!!! Someone tell me what that means. Am I dead?? Am I wrong?? If Im dead how can I be anything!!! I believe you are wrong and I hope not dead!!!!

Week of August 5th, through August 11th, 1998
"Let me give you the benefit of the doubt" NO! NO! NO!! How can
any doubt have a benefit???? My benefit would come if you would think   before you speak!!! Benefit all of us loose that saying!!!!

Week of July 29th through August 4th, 1998
"If you really want to know the truth" (O'boy get me some water!!!) NO, I came to church today to be lied too!!! WHERE is your mind????? Do you ever listen to yourself????? Keep that saying out of your mouth!!!!!

Week of July 22nd through July 28th, 1998
"Allow me to read a story to you" NO!! allow me to read a story to you is the same as saying allow me to be your Pastor!!! Are you not the Pastor???
Then act like the Pastor and read the story!!!!

Week of July 15th through July 21st, 1998
"Throws me for a loop"WOE!! I hope you didn't get hurt! Next time hang on to something!! Corn ball phrasing distracts the through process of the main subject!! STOP IT!!!

Week of July 8th through July 14th, 1998
"Lets go to the Lord in prayer"WHAT!! You go I want to stay here.
God is here we do not have to go anywhere...You go I will stay and pray!
Try this, "Bow your heads as we pray together"

Week of July 1st through July 7th, 1998
"Its kind-na on my mind"What!!! Its either there or its not there! How can I benefit from such a halfway teaching??? No such word as "kind-na" Grow up preacher!!!!

Week of June 24th through June 30th, 1998
"Yes that's pretty much true"WHAT is pretty much???? Is it pretty???
Is it much??? How much was pretty about it???? Nothing pretty about your phrasing... STOP IT.. It is either true or false!!

Week of June 17th through June 23rd, 1998
"I had to think for a minute"WOW'' what do you do for the other 23 hrs and 59 minutes daydream???? We want a preacher who thinks all the time...Loose that terrible expression!!!

Week of June 10th through June 16th, 1998
"Bow your head in Silent Prayer" What??? O' help me up!!
Prayer is talking with God not thinking to God! There is no such prayer as a silent prayer! Bow your head for a moment of silence is correct!!!

Week of June 3rd through June 9th, 1998
"My favorite verse of scripture is" WOE!!! Who are you? Your are putting yourself before the word of God!!! If you are conducting a survey on scripture verses I apologize, anything else is contrary to the delivering of GOD's word!!
GOD's word does not need to be influenced by you or anyone GOD's word alone influences!!!!

Week of May 27th through June 2nd, 1998
"From what I gathered" What are you a farmer, gardener, or a preacher???
We do not gather the Word of God we study and live it.... If you have to gather anything gather some common sense!!!

Week of May 20th through May 26th, 1998
"You hit the nail on the head" Are you building or preaching??? Leave the tools at home just bring the Sermon!! Jesus was the carpenter and you are the preacher!!--PREACH & TEACH don't BANG & POUND!!

Week of May 13th through May 19th, 1998
"Turn over with me"NO I'm not laying down!!!  I'm happy the way I am, you turn over by yourself!!!  Yes it is silly STOP IT!!!

Week of May 6th through May 12th, 1998
Is it clear now?" Are you teaching, preaching, or giving the weather report???
The question is a little foggy!!! Try this instead, Do you understand what I am reading?

Week of April 29th through May 5th, 1998
"Let me tell you this"What have you told me before???  Just keep speaking do you need a reminder that you are speaking ?  I can hear you and I do know that you are speaking. Stop the double talk!!!!!

Week of April 22nd through April 28th, 1998
"Something like that" Something like What?? Stop with commentary that means nothing and preach the Word of God which IS SOMETHING!!!
Drop the phrase "Something like that"

Week of April 15th through April 21st, 1998
"It just boils down to"WHAT?? are you cooking or preaching?? How could you ever boil down the word of God!!! Think about it!! Leave the cooking at home and preach the word of God at church........

Week of April 8th through April 14th, 1998
"Im just a country preacher"O' Stop with that philosophical statement, or is it philosophical? Is it that you want to be liked? or forgiven for any mis-quoted theological points. Find a reference to that statement in the Bible (Im just a country preacher) and you may continue to use it!, otherwise forget who you are and concentrate on who Jesus is!!!!!

Week of April 1st through April 7th, 1998
"You know what I mean"NO!! I Don't and I don't care. I want to know what the Bible means, I want to know what God means, I want to know what Jesus means, I want to know what the Holy Spirit means, but I do not want to know what you mean......preach and teach but do not philosophize...

Week of March 25th through March 31st, 1998
"Do you understand what I am saying?" NO!! I understand what the Bible is saying and so should you... I am not here in church to understand you....I am here in church to understand what God is saying.......Do you understand???....

Week of March 18th through March 24th, 1998
But I think not too much Woe!!! Did you hear yourself??? I'm sure you did not mean that did you???? Please think much......

Week of March 11th through March 17th, 1998
The truth of the matter is What would be the lie of the matter?? and what is matter anyhow!! it doesn't matter! loose the matter....all this matter just makes me madder.....

Week of March 4th through March 10th, 1998
The short of the long isWhat does that mean???why do you insist on confusing me. When you do this you cause me to miss the next two sentences. Stop It!!!!!

Week of Feb 25th through March 3rd, 1998
"It just stands to reason"What!!! (O'boy) Can it stand by itself or does it have to stand next to something? GOD'S word stands alone!!!

Week of Feb 18th through Feb 24th, 1998
"I am not wired that way"What!!! Pinocchio might say that, you should not!! God's greatest creation was not wired together. Loose that mind distracting statement!!!

Week of Feb 11th through Feb 17th, 1998
"I was under the impression" be careful and come away before you get hurt!! The Word of God revealed to you, it did not put you under any impression did it???? Loose that expression.......

Week of Feb 4th through Feb 10th, 1998
"One I oda" What?? what is that one potato? corn ball speaking? silly commentary? What??? tell me! Please loose the potato.......

Week of Jan 28th through Feb 3rd, 1998
"It was on the tip of my tongue" What was??? and how did it get there??
Food should be the only thing on the "tip of your tongue" everything else should come from your mind!!!!

Week of Jan 21st through Jan 27th, 1998
"More Better"(O'boy) Do you mean there is more and its better or do you mean its better and there is more? What exactly do you mean??? Bury that phrase!

Week of Jan 14th through Jan 20th, 1998
"then by the other token" What??? a bus token?? a train token?? what kind of token and why a token?? Please keep it simple. Don't have your congregation linger on a though of no importance and miss out on the important one!!!!! Leave your token at home!

Week of Jan 7th through Jan 13th, 1998
"I'll be honest with you"(O'boy) Does that mean dishonesty is sometimes in your preaching??? I want your honesty all of the time!!!!! Who are you????

Week of Dec 31st through Jan 6th, 1998
"Its a shame" No its not!! Nothing is a shame!. Loose that statement, its cheap! and non-meaningful!! be positive!!! PREACH don't gossip.

Week of Dec 24th through Dec 30th, 1997
"In the way of Announcements" Tell me how did something get in the way!!! Sounds silly dosen't it?? It is!!! Stop it! Just give the announcements.

Week of Dec 17th through Dec 23rd, 1997
"Don't you know?"NO that's why Im here!! Silly question to the unbeliever, of course he or she does not know, quit rubbing salt into the wound!!!. Make the statement positive like this, the explanation for that question is found in..........Don't embarrass the newcomer.

Week of Dec 10th through Dec 16th, 1997
"The Christmas story is found in" No No No! Do not refer to the birth of our Lord and Savior as the "Christmas story"! The word of God is not a story book! Try this, The birth of Jesus Christ is found in Luke 2:1-20

Week of Dec 3rd through Dec 9th, 1997
"it just upsets me!" Well la de da, are you not a messenger of God???
If the messenger gets upset what will happen to the message???Let your sermon drop "it just upsets me!"

Week of Nov 26th, through Dec 3rd, 1997
"Father be with us" How many times have you used that statement in your prayer?? Where do you think He is??? If you have accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and confess your sins he is always with you!!!! Try this instead, "Father draw us closer to You..."

Week of Nov 19th, through Nov 25th, 1997
"It dosen't make sense" make WHAT?, mans sense?, common sense?, what kind of sense? incense?, dollars & cents?. If it dosen't make sense why and I repeat why talk about it!!!

Week of Nov 12th, through Nov 18th, 1997
"Listen to me now" You have been speaking for 30 minutes and NOW you want me to listen.....Nothing important said in the first 30 minutes??..Can't think of any other way to arouse my attention?? No wonder so many sleep during your sermon...GIVE UP "Listen to me now"

Week of Nov 5th, through Nov 11th, 1997
"If you have your Bible"(No No No) Be positive! IF is a negative word. More Bibles will show up in churches by being positive!! TAKE YOU BIBLE needs to replace "If you have your Bible."

Week of Oct 29th through Nov 4th, 1997
"To tell you the truth" What have you told me in the past? lies!.. Where ever you picked this terrible expression up, please take it back and leave it there!
A minister is though of as always speaking the truth!

Week of Oct 22nd, 1997 through Oct 28th, 1997
"The thing about it is"What Thing!? and it!, what is it?!  The subject?  I don't know do you? Get rid of the thing!  Think and speak don't speak and think.

Week of Oct 15th, 1997 through Oct 21st, 1997
"To make a long story short" Don't!!, I like long stories. Stop apologizing for part of your sermon. That is exactly what this means "To make a long story short" Drop the short bit and tell your story in DETAIL.

Week of Oct 8th, 1997 through Oct 14th, 1997
"Let me tell you something" NO! that would shock you wouldn't it if someone in your congregation stood up and said  NO!
"Let me tell you something" is a poor crutch for a good speaker. Stand up for Jesus and speak on your own two feet!

Week of Oct 1st, 1997 through Oct 7th, 1997
"Turn with me now if you would" Read that again slowly. "Turn with me now if you would" Are you listening to yourself? What were you doing before you asked me to turn with you? DANCING! Try this, turn in your Bible to---- now isn't that better?

Week of Sept 24th, 1997 through Sept 30th, 1997
"Then it dawned on me"(O'boy) I hope you didn't get hurt. Have you forgotten how to say. Then I realized, or I just remember, or the idea came into my mind. The next time you get dawn on yourself use cold water!!

Week of Sept 17th, 1997 through Sept 23rd, 1997
"Again" A word that is Overworked! If used, it is the same as gasping for breath. A fill-in word that turns a preacher into a sports announcer. Lose the word "Again".

Week of Sept 10th, 1997 through Sept 16th, 1997
It doesn't mean (O'boy here it comes) "A Hill of Beans"!.Is this suppose to be colorful commentary? Have you ever in your life seen a "Hill of Beans"? If you want it to be colorful commentaryword it this way, "it doesn't mean a hill of red and black beans"!. drop the beans!.

Week of Sept 3rd, 1997 through Sept 9th, 1997
You see what I say! WHAT!!you see what I say!  O Please, help me up. you don't say that do you? Do you see what I hear? Than how do you expect me to see what you say. Stop It!!

Week of Aug 27th, 1997 through Sept 2nd
Your bonus tip is "really" a bonus tip. Really?  Really!.
When I hear that word "really" I lose respect for the speaker. To me its like saying trust me, trust me, why, do you lie?. "Really" this and "really" that. Please stop with the word "Really"!!! Grow up!

Week of Aug 20th, 1997 through Aug 26th
Stop referring to "they"who are "they"anyhow? Always refer to the work and word of God. When referring to someone or something in the secular world be specific, do not say"they said" or "they say"! who, and I repeat, who is "they"?!.
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